Last night I had dinner with two of my girlfriends and there seemed to be a common thread throughout the night, we all feel this undeniable pressure. Pressure to be better in our jobs, in our personal lives, pressure we put on ourselves to have things feel more figured out or together. With the growth of social media I have noticed having this conversation more often than not with a lot of my friends. Our generation often gets picked apart as not knowing what we want, but wanting it all. We have the freedom to choose careers that are not your run of the mill office job and sometimes that puts on an added pressure that we should all be running our own business before thirty.
Many days I feel like I have it together. I either nailed a recipe I wanted to try for a while or finally tackled a lingering item off my to do list. Then I go on to Instagram and all of those things I was proud of doing suddenly seem not good enough. By nature, we compare ourselves to other people. It is embedded in our makeup and as we get older it gets harder and harder to stop. We base our successes off the success of other people and that is really unhealthy. We are all so extraordinarily different. We come from different places with unique upbringings and it would be incredibly boring if we were all the same.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” a famous quote that I like to tell myself on repeat because I truly believe comparing is what triggers more pressure and anxiety. You can be feeling great about your body until you see someone more fit than you and that positivity turns into negative thoughts. Obviously we can’t all live with blinders on and it is a good thing to look at what other people are doing, but instead of starting by saying “ I wish I had that” or “ugh thats not fair” use it as motivation to get to where you want to be.
I am still working on this as it is my natural instinct to feel a bit envious when I see something executed perfectly, but I am trying to live much more in the moment and take things as inspiration for me to do better instead of beating myself up about not doing something right. We all bring something different to the table and that’s what makes life so beautiful. I am sorry for the lengthy post, but I feel like so many of us are in the same situation. Men definitely go through this too, but it seems women in particular put pressure on each other. We need to look great, dress well, want to get married and have babies all while having a cool job that makes you a lot of money. I want you all (myself included) to stop and think about your own accomplishments and be proud of them. Don’t diminish them because someone else has accomplished more, or because you haven’t accomplished everything you want to. There will always be someone more successful, smarter or prettier than you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t incredibly talented, intelligent and beautiful! Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of that.
Photo by Torrey Fox